25th June: Knickers Off



The first thing I’m going to do when I get the van is to put a poster in the back window that shows the EU stars, but with one of the stars replaced with a tear.  I’ll soon be driving a French built van in France, drinking lovely French wine and eating lovely French food as I drive through lovely French countryside whilst speaking bad French.  My poster is the least I can do for Anglo-French relations. 

As a security measure I’m also going to make a notice stating ‘Kalashnikovs are not left in this van overnight’ – it will be factual statement but with a lingering note of deterrence like a cheap perfume.  I’m also fond of saying the word Kalashnikov because it makes your mouth move in so many directions in a very short space of time.  Joining a Russian dating site might be a good idea so that I can find a man with a similar surname – Abramovich, Romanov, Andronikov.  Just writing those words excites me to buttered muffin status but it might be easier to change my name via deed poll: Genevieve Kalashnikov, Genevieve Get-yer-knickers-ov.
I sell more books, oil paints and two IKEA lamps today.  The oil paints cost me £13 to post and I was paid £11 for them, including postage. 

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